(dir. Len Wiseman, 2012)
If you can say anything about the new “Total Recall” (and believe me, there isn’t much to say about the new “Total Recall”), it’s that its existence isn’t significantly more offensive than a lack of existence.
That is to say, this remake of the 1990 Schwarzenegger isn’t groundbreaking, it isn’t thoughtful, and contrary to its studio’s ironic title card of “Original Film,” it isn’t especially original. This is a somber, largely humorless slog through workman special effects and focus grouped sci-fi ideas. I can’t remember the last special effects extravaganza so joyless in its awesomeness.
And yet, here’s the thing…you could do worse. You could. By coughing up 10 dollars, you also devote two hours of your life, and I feel reasonably confident you won’t spend the movie thinking how you’d otherwise devote them. For all the movie’s faults, director Len Wisemen successfully breezes through to the point that you don’t notice them until the movie is over.
If this summer’s sensational “Prometheus” is eHarmony, consider “Total Recall” to be OkCupid. Technically it’s settling, but eh, whatever.
Based on the 1966 Phillip K. Dick story “We Can Remember It For You Wholesale,” the screenplay concerns a lot of characters that the movie flatters by giving them names, distinguishing them from the other characters who behave in specific ways to move the plot forward. No one in this movie reacts. They just keep on and carry on.
Specifically among them is Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell), a factory worker in 2084 suffering from oddly vivid nightmares of being a secret agent, taking on gunfire in a mysterious lab. He visits some seedy pleasure palace called Rekall hoping to learn the source of these dreams. Only instead, actual government agents burst in to arrest him and he unleashes a series of Jason Bourne-style combat moves he wasn’t even aware he had.
Suddenly he finds himself a man on the run from the government, even though he in fact might work FOR the government. This leads him to question whether his reality is in fact a dream, whether it’s the other way around, who he can trust, and what is identity truly is. All fairly top shelf stuff as sci-fi is concerned. Not aggressively unique, but enough to draw you in.
But Wiseman, he of the “Underworld” movies and “Live Free Or Die Hard,” knows what butters his bread. Once these basic questions are laid forth, he merrily zips by them, amping the action sequences waaay up. Some are impressive, like the initial footchase that left me seriously questioning whether this movie would surpass my expectations instead of humbly dropping at my expectations’ feet. Most others are perfunctory. None are imperative. When an audience isn't invested in any characters or their fate, it just becomes a matter of watching the dominoes crash into each other.
For that first third of the movie, though, I legitimately DID feel the movie would be more special than what it ultimately became. And even as shallow ruts go, at least the view is nice. One especially popping chase sequence (of at least three – I stopped counting) takes place inside an elevator shaft that goes up, down, inside, outside, and hey look, sideways. Like a nifty video game that you can’t personally play, but at least it’s well choreographed.
Of course, once the chase concludes, commence rattling off all the ways it defies time, space, and logic (why build elevators that go sideways for a building that appears of average width?). Such is “Total Recall” on the whole. Useless but intermittedly satisfying.
Adjusting expectations to meet a flailing movie can be a difficult thing. I shouldn’t forcibly lower my standards just to avoid admitting I wasted my time. But I also shouldn’t knock a movie that meets the base purpose of filling it. “Time filler” doesn’t exactly make for a ringing movie poster quote. This I agree. And “Total Recall” may be charmless, unnecessary, and thoughtful only in the sense that its screenwriters took enough thought to write it down.
If you choose not to make it part of your day, I can’t blame you. For those looking for a respite from the storm, at least you’ll be greeted by a movie that doesn’t expect you to rise to the occasion any more than it does.
If you can say anything about the new “Total Recall” (and believe me, there isn’t much to say about the new “Total Recall”), it’s that its existence isn’t significantly more offensive than a lack of existence.
That is to say, this remake of the 1990 Schwarzenegger isn’t groundbreaking, it isn’t thoughtful, and contrary to its studio’s ironic title card of “Original Film,” it isn’t especially original. This is a somber, largely humorless slog through workman special effects and focus grouped sci-fi ideas. I can’t remember the last special effects extravaganza so joyless in its awesomeness.
And yet, here’s the thing…you could do worse. You could. By coughing up 10 dollars, you also devote two hours of your life, and I feel reasonably confident you won’t spend the movie thinking how you’d otherwise devote them. For all the movie’s faults, director Len Wisemen successfully breezes through to the point that you don’t notice them until the movie is over.
If this summer’s sensational “Prometheus” is eHarmony, consider “Total Recall” to be OkCupid. Technically it’s settling, but eh, whatever.
Based on the 1966 Phillip K. Dick story “We Can Remember It For You Wholesale,” the screenplay concerns a lot of characters that the movie flatters by giving them names, distinguishing them from the other characters who behave in specific ways to move the plot forward. No one in this movie reacts. They just keep on and carry on.
Specifically among them is Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell), a factory worker in 2084 suffering from oddly vivid nightmares of being a secret agent, taking on gunfire in a mysterious lab. He visits some seedy pleasure palace called Rekall hoping to learn the source of these dreams. Only instead, actual government agents burst in to arrest him and he unleashes a series of Jason Bourne-style combat moves he wasn’t even aware he had.
Suddenly he finds himself a man on the run from the government, even though he in fact might work FOR the government. This leads him to question whether his reality is in fact a dream, whether it’s the other way around, who he can trust, and what is identity truly is. All fairly top shelf stuff as sci-fi is concerned. Not aggressively unique, but enough to draw you in.
But Wiseman, he of the “Underworld” movies and “Live Free Or Die Hard,” knows what butters his bread. Once these basic questions are laid forth, he merrily zips by them, amping the action sequences waaay up. Some are impressive, like the initial footchase that left me seriously questioning whether this movie would surpass my expectations instead of humbly dropping at my expectations’ feet. Most others are perfunctory. None are imperative. When an audience isn't invested in any characters or their fate, it just becomes a matter of watching the dominoes crash into each other.
For that first third of the movie, though, I legitimately DID feel the movie would be more special than what it ultimately became. And even as shallow ruts go, at least the view is nice. One especially popping chase sequence (of at least three – I stopped counting) takes place inside an elevator shaft that goes up, down, inside, outside, and hey look, sideways. Like a nifty video game that you can’t personally play, but at least it’s well choreographed.
Of course, once the chase concludes, commence rattling off all the ways it defies time, space, and logic (why build elevators that go sideways for a building that appears of average width?). Such is “Total Recall” on the whole. Useless but intermittedly satisfying.
Adjusting expectations to meet a flailing movie can be a difficult thing. I shouldn’t forcibly lower my standards just to avoid admitting I wasted my time. But I also shouldn’t knock a movie that meets the base purpose of filling it. “Time filler” doesn’t exactly make for a ringing movie poster quote. This I agree. And “Total Recall” may be charmless, unnecessary, and thoughtful only in the sense that its screenwriters took enough thought to write it down.
If you choose not to make it part of your day, I can’t blame you. For those looking for a respite from the storm, at least you’ll be greeted by a movie that doesn’t expect you to rise to the occasion any more than it does.
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